I saw the swagger.
Felt the sneer.
And suddenly I was 10 again.
It can feel that fast, can’t it?
Sometimes, it’s even faster.
I’m back to 10 again.
Everything else, unnoticed.
The swagger, the sneer.
Threat flooded my body.
It all happened in an instant.
I heard the unkind words.
I saw my friends laughing behind their hands.
I took in the hurt.
And somewhere along the way,
I took in the judgement too.
And kept it there.
An instruction for my future.
It made me cautious.
Less, somehow.
It stayed with me.
And I lived it out in many ways.
Sometimes, I put on armour.
And sarcasm became my sword.
At other times, being aloof was the order of the day.
Both worked at keeping others at arm’s length.
Some, only a select few,
Ever made it through
the veneer.
Fragile protection.
Waiting to be removed.
I thought it was their job.
Until I found out.
Slowly.
It was always mine
to remove.